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Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson turned himself into authorities today and now the court may take away his kids. Don't worry, Michael's working on a deal where he can dangle them on the weekends.
The saddest part of this Michael Jackson scandal is that all of this could have been avoided if he just stuck to grabbing his own crotch.
Earlier today, police raided the Neverland ranch. Michael Jackson was so upset he dangled himself over a balcony.
Several celebrities have stepped forward to defend Michael Jackson... Woody Harrelson, Roman Polanski, Pete Townsend.
I can sum up Michael Jackson's legal defense in three words: dead man moonwalking.
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