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11: -
Category:
Work
Some words of wisdom from Laurence J Peter...
Peter's Principle: in an organization, each person rises to the level of his own incompetence.
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
and
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
12: -
Category:
Work
The Lord's Prayer by Caitlin, age 3
Our Father which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
In earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our sins
As we forgive them who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us some email.
Amen.
13: -
Category:
Work
Diminishing returns
After a two year long study, The National Science Foundation announced the following results on Corporate America's recreation preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed people is: BASKETBALL
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is: FOOTBALL
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: BASEBALL
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: TENNIS
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: GOLF
CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
14: -
Category:
Work
Is your employer ready for the new millennium?
Date: January 1, 2000
Re: Holiday Pay
Dear Valued Employee,
Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 100 year(s). As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off. One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service. Please either take 9,400 days off work or notify our office and your next pay cheque will reflect payment of £9,313,4708.63 which will include all pay and interest for the past 1,200 months.
Yours sincerely,
Automated Payroll Processing
15: -
Category:
Work
If at first you don't succeed, try management.
16: -
Category:
Work
Your job is Still better than asking, "You want fries with that?"
17: -
Category:
Work
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
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