Michael Jackson Jokes

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1: - Category: Michael Jackson

Did you hear that the University of Michigan is giving people 20 points for being black? They gave Michael Jackson -40.
Michael Jackson wants to play Peter Pan. He should be Tinkerbell. Know what I mean???

2: - Category: Michael Jackson

"Marsupials" is to "youngsters squirming in pouch" as
"Michael Jackson" is to "youngsters squirming on couch".

3: - Category: Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson turned himself into authorities today and now the court may take away his kids. Don't worry, Michael's working on a deal where he can dangle them on the weekends.
The saddest part of this Michael Jackson scandal is that all of this could have been avoided if he just stuck to grabbing his own crotch.
Earlier today, police raided the Neverland ranch. Michael Jackson was so upset he dangled himself over a balcony.
Several celebrities have stepped forward to defend Michael Jackson... Woody Harrelson, Roman Polanski, Pete Townsend.
I can sum up Michael Jackson's legal defense in three words: dead man moonwalking.

4: - Category: Michael Jackson

The lawyer says, "I have good news and bad news."
Michael asks for the bad news.
The lawyer says "they have a real strong case for molestation and you are going to do serious time."
Michael asks for the good news.
The lawyer says "I think you can serve it in a juvenile detention facility."

5: - Category: Michael Jackson

Saddam Hussein didn't put up a fight when he was arrested.
Even Michael Jackson put up a fight.

6: - Category: Michael Jackson

Troubled pop superstar Michael Jackson is reportedly "deeply upset" that longtime pal Elizabeth Taylor didn't attend his support rally party at Neverland Ranch last weekend. According to The Scoop, giant star Taylor, 71, didn't show up for the party because she "wasn't up" for the event. A source said, "He had hoped that a bunch of big stars would show, but there really weren't any A-list names, and she was the most glaringly absent."

7: - Category: Michael Jackson

At least now, I'm not the buggest boob on television!
Justin Timberlake called the incident a "wardrobe malfunction". The last time I had one of those I became a father.
After the game, President Bush called the Patriots to congratulate them on the win.
Former VP Al Gore called the Panthers to tell them he thought they had been robbed.
And former President Clinton called up Janet Jackson.

8: - Category: Michael Jackson

Everyone is still talking about the Super Bowl halftime show. People are upset, they're accusing each other, they're denying, no response from some - the FCC is going to investigate. And today President Bush formed the Department of Wardrobe Security.
President Bush slept through the halftime show - typical CBS viewer.
CBS is pleading ignorance over the stunt at the Super Bowl. Pleading ignorance. Why not? That's what they do with this show.
They say it was a "wardrobe malfunction". President Clinton must be wondering, "Why didn't I think of that?"

9: - Category: Michael Jackson

Last month was one of the coldest months in New York history. It must be cold because when Janet Jackson was here, she almost put an eye out.
Still a lot of controversy over the Super Bowl halftime show. Justin Timberlake's parents said they were even embarrassed by the halftime show. They then went on to say that they were embarrassed before the game.

10: - Category: Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson's attorneys resigned. They had thought that they were defending Diana Ross.
When I heard that Michael Jackson was firing someone, I thought that he should fire his plastic surgeon.

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