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Category:
Gross
Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big.
Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in!
Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.
Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we give Dad a decent burial?
Shut up and keep flushing.
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
Shut up and get the marshmallows!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire!
Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!
2: -
Category:
Gross
Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy zigzagging in the yard?
Shut up and shoot again!
Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma!
Shut up and keep digging.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?
Shut up and flush.
Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim!
Shut up or I'll flush it again!
Mommy, Mommy! It's cold and dark and damp down here.
Shut up or I'll flush it again.
3: -
Category:
Gross
Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat?
Shut up and eat your meat loaf.
Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner?
Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.
Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sister's guts.
Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.
Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child?
Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.
Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child?
Shut up and pass me the crowbar.
4: -
Category:
Gross
What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
5: -
Category:
Gross
A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!"
Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table.
"There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
6: -
Category:
Gross
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital.
"How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
7: -
Category:
Gross
If I cut off my right butt-cheek, will I be left behind?
8: -
Category:
Gross
Two hungry cannibals are walking through the forest when they see a man who had recently passed away.
One cannibal says, "Look at this! You start at the feet and I'll start at the head and we'll meet in the middle."
So the two cannibals start eating.
After a half an hour one stops eating, looks up, and says, "I don't know about you, but this is great! How are you doing?"
The other cannibal answers, "This is great! I'm havin' a ball!"
The other cannibal says, "Hey, no fair! You're eating too fast!"
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