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21:  - Category:     Deep Thoughts
I'd rather be rich than stupid.

22:  - Category:     Deep Thoughts
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

23:  - Category:     Deep Thoughts
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

24:  - Category:     Deep Thoughts
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

25:  - Category:     Deep Thoughts
As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!

26:  - Category:     Deep Thoughts
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

27:  - Category:     Deep Thoughts
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

28:  - Category:     Deep Thoughts
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

29:  - Category:     Deep Thoughts
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

30:  - Category:     Deep Thoughts
As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.


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