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21: -
Category:
Clean
Why ask why? Try Bud Dry.
Then again, if Bud's made from water, why is it dry?
22: -
Category:
Clean
Oh WELLL.......as the YANKS say "Let the good time roll..."
23: -
Category:
Clean
This guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the guy and says" Have you seen Ilene?" The guy is rather confused and asked " Ilene who?" The bartender relies " I lean over and you kiss my ass." Well the man was offended by this and walks out the door and into the bar across the street. So he sits down and orders a beer. While he is drinking his beer he tells the bartender what the other bartender said to him. The bartender then told him," You know what you should do, you should go back over there and ask him if he has seen Ben and when he says Ben who you say I bend over and you kiss my ass. So the guy goes back across the street and asks the Bartender if he has seen Ben. And the Bartender said " Yep, He just went out the door with Ilene." The guy asks" Ilene who? ......
24: -
Category:
Clean
A guy who has already had quite a few beers enters an already very busy bar and says to the bartender, give me a beer, give everyone in the place a beer and have one yourself. The bartender serves everyone a beer and draws one for himself. He walks over to the benefactor, toasts him and asks for his money. The man tells him that ran out of money a long while back. The bartender physically ejects him from the bar and deposits him prone on the sidewalk. The man picks himself up and strodes back into bar. He crawls on a stool and says to the bartender "give me a beer and give everyone here a beer, but none for you, you get too mean when you drink".
25: -
Category:
Clean
Bubba and Bubba Jr. were driving down an Arkansas back road drinkin' some Budweisers when they spotted a Police roadblock ahead.
Bubba Jr says: 'Dad, are we gonna get caught drinking and driving agin?' Bubba pulls off the road and says: No, son. Finish your beer, peel off the label and stick it on your forehead, stash the bottle under the seat and I'll do the talkin'
They pull up to the roadblock and are stopped, the officer asks 'You boyz been drinkin?'
No, Bubba says, we're on the patch!
26: -
Category:
Clean
Q: How many Irishman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
27: -
Category:
Clean
A Brit, an Irishman, and a Scot go out to a pub and order 3 pints. They each find a fly floating on the top of their mugs. The Brit says, "Bartender, can I have a spoon?" and quietly removes the fly from his brew. The Irishman says, "Get out of there!" and flicks the fly away with a finger. The Scot picks up the fly with his fingers and says, "Alright ya wee fucker. Spit it out! Now!"
28: -
Category:
Clean
SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, and the front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Buy another beer and practice in front of mirror. Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.
29: -
Category:
Clean
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Find someone who will buy you another beer.
30: -
Category:
Clean
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with ceiling tiles and fluorescent light strip across it.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: If your glass is full and no one is standing on your drinking arm, stay put. If not, get someone to help you get up; latch self to bar.
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