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Results 1 to 10 out of 34

1: - Category: Clean

Just as irrigation is the lifeblood of the Southwest, lifeblood is the soup of cannibals.

2: - Category: Clean

I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out West and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is gold," and I'd say, "Well, that was easy." Good joke, huh.

3: - Category: Clean

Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.

4: - Category: Clean

I read that when the archaeologists dug down into the ancient cemetary, they found fragments of *human bones*! What kind of barbarians were these people, anyway?

5: - Category: Clean

Here's a good trick: Get a job as a judge at the Olympics. Then, if some guy sets a world record, pretend that you didn't see it and go, "Okay, is everybody ready to start now?"

6: - Category: Clean

Son takes his father to the doctor. Doctor gives them the bad news that the father is dying of cancer. Father tells the son that he has had a good long life and wants to stop at the bar on the way home to celebrate it.

While at the bar, the father sees several of his friends. He tells them that he is dying of AIDS.

When the friends leave the son asks, "Dad, you are dying of cancer. Why did you tell them that you are dying of AIDS?"

The father replies, "I don't want them fucking your mother after I'm gone!"

7: - Category: Clean

Nancy goes to the gynecologist and he examines her.

He says, "You have acute vaginitis."

She says, "Thank you."

8: - Category: Clean

A man is urinating one day when the end of his penis drops off.

He thinks, "This is probably not a good thing," so he picks up the knobby end and sticks it in his pocket, then races off to the doctor. He waits in the surgery for a bit, then he's called in.

The doctor greets him and asks, "What's the problem?"

"Well, doctor, I was urinating and my knob fell off. Here it is." And he reaches into his pocket and hands the piece to the doctor.

The doctor looks, frowns, then replies, "What are you talking about? This is a marshmellow!"

"Well, that can't be right! I ate my last marshmellow on the way in here!"

9: - Category: Clean

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go.

When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"

"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."

10: - Category: Clean

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?

Results 1 to 10 out of 34

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