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11: -
Category:
Christmas
This woman walks into a tatoo shop and asks for a tatoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. why do you want two tatoos there? So she says because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years.
12: -
Category:
Christmas
It seems Santas' little workers weren't cranking out enough toys for the upcoming Christmas run so Santa had to get them some help. He called up Jack and Jill and since they weren't doing anything they agreed to help out. They got along good with the elves and worked really hard. It wasn't long before they had more than enough toys made and Santa didn't need to keep both Jack and Jill working for him so he didn't know what to do....Lay Jill or Jack off.
13: -
Category:
Christmas
A little boy about nine or ten, was siting on Santa's lap. Santa pointed his finger in the boys face, and said " George I know what you want for Christmas! A T-O-Y." Nope! replied George. Then again, pointing his finger in the boys face. You want C-A-N-D-Y. Nope! replied George. Then just what the hell do you want, ask SantA George looked Santa in the face, pointing his finger, I want some P-U-S-S-Y! And don't tell me that you don't have any. Because I can smell it on your finger.!!
14: -
Category:
Christmas
The Top 10 Signs You're Sick of the Holidays:
10. You've got red and green bags under your eyes
9. You're serving reindeer pot pie
8. When you hear, "Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'?," you scream, "No! I'm not listening!"
7. You climb on your roof and start shooting carolers in the ass with your BB gun
6. You think you hear your Christmas tree taunting you
5. Instead of spending time with family, you're watching some guy make photo copies
4. You're busted for running through town wearing nothing but mistletoe.
3. You've got eggnog coming out of your ears
2. Your standard response, "And happy holidays to you too, you bastard"
1. Two words: tinsel rash
15: -
Category:
Christmas
See that drag queen his name's Molly.
Fa La La La La La La La La
For 50 bucks he'll make you jolly.
Fa La La La La La La La La
See him in his gay apparel.
Fa La La La La La La La La
You should meet his brother Carol.
Fa La La La La La La La La
16: -
Category:
Christmas
Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar,
Santa drives a rusty car,
Press the starter,
Press the choke,
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke!
17: -
Category:
Christmas
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
18: -
Category:
Christmas
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
19: -
Category:
Christmas
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift wrapper?
Ribbon hood.
20: -
Category:
Christmas
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
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