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1:  - Category:     Celebrity
How much weight can the average belt hold?
IN-XS of eighty kilos.

2:  - Category:     Celebrity
A recent poll of American women asked the question: Would you sleep with Bill Clinton? 94 percent responded "Never again!"

3:  - Category:     Celebrity
When David Beckham got to New York after the match Posh Spice cooked him a special meal including pheasant. David didn't want it as he preferred to get in the jacuzzi. Its not the first time he's thrown the game for an early bath.

4:  - Category:     Celebrity
David Beckham goes down to breakfast with Posh Spice. She takes one look at him and fawns, "Mmm, David you look great." Not one to miss his cue, Beckham does the necessary: pretty soon, they're getting down to a good old bit of heavy petting on the kitchen table. Posh Spice runs her hands over his body, and whispers, "Mmm, David - you feel great, too." Then she nuzzles up to him and the next thing he knows, she's pulled away from him in disgust. "Yeugh, David you smell absolutely terrible". Poor, sensitive lad that he is, Beckham is a bit perturbed by this revelation. He decides to seek a bit of practical help from his doctor. So off he toddles to the surgery, and says, "Doctor, I think there's something wrong with me. I look great and I feel great, but I smell absolutely terrible." The doc ponders these symptoms, and elects to give Beckham a thorough physical examination. Once he's done this, he nods sagely, and says, "Yes, I think I've found out what's wrong with you, Mr Beckham."
"What is it, Doctor?" pipes up the plucky young pretty-boy. The doc replies, "You're a cunt."

5:  - Category:     Celebrity
Alex Ferguson is on his way to training one morning and, as usual, stops by David beckham's house to give him a lift. He knocks at the door, only for it to be answered by a pale and drawn looking Beckham.
"Och, David. Your no looking too good this morning"
"For sure, Mr Ferguson, I am under the weather"
"Ah no worries, you can have the day off today. Is there anythin' I can get youse?"
David asks Alex for some groceries and off Fergie goes to the cliff. On his way home he stops off at Tescos and who should he bump into but Gerard Houllier.
"A-ha, monsoir Ferguson. What are you doing 'ere?" asks the Liverpool boss.
"I've just got these here carrots for David beckham"
"Ah, monsoir Ferguson. You are indeed an exceptional businessman!"

6:  - Category:     Celebrity
David Beckham walks into a pub.
The barman says "Pint, Dave?"
Beckham replies "No, just a half then I'm off."

7:  - Category:     Celebrity
Why does David Beckham lose when playing poker?
He keeps getting red cards.

8:  - Category:     Celebrity
What does a bee have in common with a Mercedes? They both make Royal Jelly.

9:  - Category:     Celebrity
Best thing about Kurt

10:  - Category:     Celebrity
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's specials are chicken almondine and fresh fish. "The chicked sounds great, I'll have that", says Hillary. The waiter nods, "And the vegetable madam?"
"Oh, he'll have fish!", Hillary replies.


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